I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
