I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
