Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
