That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Randomize
