I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
