I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
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