oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
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