You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
