Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
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