So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
