whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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