so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
