got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Randomize
