did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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