whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
