i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
