hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
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