too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
It's rum buckets o'clock
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
