Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
