can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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