saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Randomize
