He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
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If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
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I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
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