i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
