my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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