and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
