I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
it's like heaven, but drunker
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
