I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
How's work?
Spinning.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize