You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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