just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Randomize
