called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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