no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
