I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize