Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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