I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
