Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
