i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Never joke about your clitoris.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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