I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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