I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Randomize
