Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
