Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
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