Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
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