"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
That's when you crack a 10am beer
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Everyone says I win the strip club
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
