Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Randomize
