Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
