We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
