just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
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