bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
