As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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