I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I need to wash the frat house off of me
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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