I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
You can't motorboat a personality
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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