You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
