But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
