I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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