hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
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