I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Randomize
