i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
