i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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