omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
PS: I just woke up from my shower
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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