summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Randomize
