Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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