Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize