i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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