I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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